Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Vocative plural of annus is...?


4 years ago…
Me: Good morning FT Electronic Information, my names Steve, how may I help you?
Missus: It’s me; I think the baby’s coming
Me: Oh god, it isn’t due yet though..
Missus: I know but I have started to “Show”
Me:
Missus: Oh god, I knew you weren’t paying attention in the parent/baby classes; it’s when I start to show a thick sticky white fluid around my vagina opening..
Me: (shudder)…right…umm…best I get a move on then, meet you in the hospital..

Yesterday…
Elder smasher started Nursery, my god where did 4 years go?…First thing they did was thrust a loaded paintbrush into his hand!…Doh!!…State of British education eh?…which leads me onto
“That’ll Teach Them” channel 4 last night. Concept: Take the brightest of the bright A+ pass GCSE students and give them a 1950’s education for a month then let them sit an old fashioned “O” Level exam in Maths, English and History. Result: All fail spectacularly, or almost all; None can add up, spell or tell you who Hitler was, where he was from or what he got up to. Amazing

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