All your pizza base are belong to us

Just had me missus on da phone, tells you wot sorta life i got, she asking do i want spag bol or pizza tonight for me tea, said spag bol cos i can't be arsed going to tesco on way home to buy pizza base, although...now i'm thinking aboot it like...i sorta fancy pizza...how weird is THAT?

feck it. live life to the max!...WILL go to tesco's on way home and buy me some pizza base!!...in your face Caprice!!...sigh..

Our initial assessment is that they will all die

Gotta love that site eh?

Yeah, so, almost Easter, another few hours and I'll be heading home, thought mebbe a mate or two might fancy a beer with me but no, they all seem to have other plans..Oh, a couple have grudgingly said, come if you must, but deep down I sense they don't want me there with them, so, a proud man that I am, have decided to go home to family instead. fuck 'em. who needs 'em anyway?

Besides, haven't actually got an evening pass from the Missus, so might've been a problem, well...(cough) not a problem of course..just an "issue"..

Besides, also, mate's coming round tomorrow to drop off some baby clothes and see the wee one...gonna take them out for lunch somewhere, cheap though! says the missus!!...wouldn't they prefer some home cooked lunch instead?...no...they bloody well wouldn't!!...SIGH..

Lounge Lizard

Good night, Friday night, had about 25 people turn up in the end, some faces I hadn't seen in a while, years some of them...ended up fairly hammered, but not too bad, managed to loose my baby photo's mind you...so hoping someone picked them up and/or handed them in behind the bar, gonna pop in there later and see..

Saturday, up early, hangover bearable, went to Hertford to get the missus some new glasses, had to have a Maccy D breakfast bun though just. had. to. toddler threw a hissy fit because he wanted one too, but the missus was saying he'd have to wait till lunchtime...my god...the embarrassment of heaving a screaming 3 year old through the centre of town...while trying to stuff a muffin in me gob at the same time...the horror! i tell ya...

Sister turned up later and took us to the nearest M&S in Brookfield farm to buy me my birthday pressie, well, contribute to it, as I treated myself to some "lounge wear"

Getting to a stage at home where I think it's best daddy covers up when he's wandering around the house first thing in da morning, after all, I'm not a German or Swedish parent, nudity belongs in the bathroom s'wot i say...or in the dark, in bed...once a month (cough)...The other day, the three year old cornered me, en route to the bog one morning wanting me to help him laying out his railway track...not wanting to hurt the lads feelings, I hunkered down and set to task, erse in the air, goose bumps sprouting all over my body, love tool shrivelled...poor child backing away from me..saying...it's ok daddy...it's ok....I can do it...you go to the toilet...I can...er...manage from here...trains...tunnels will never look the same to him again....

I see the A-Team

So, night out tonight, gonna whet Fred's head at the Toucan - 3 crowns off Cheap side, looking forward to seeing some faces I ain't seen in a while...have baby photo's to bore with to..

Watching Top of the Pops2 the other night, the Erasure special! superb!!...but the other week they had on "Hey Matthew" by Karel Fialka, remember that!!!??...jeeez...totally forgot that one...(cringe) think i..er....used to like it n'all..

Do you see the cars going up in flames,
See their faces, do you know their names,
Hey Matthew, when you're watching TV
Hey, Hey Matthew, what do you see?...


I see Dallas, Dynasty, Silver Hawks,
He-Man, Tom & Jerry, Dukes of Hazzard,
Airwolf, Blue Thunder, Rambo, Road Runner,
Daffy Duck, The A-Team, The A-Team, I see the A-Team


Oh dear...umm...

soap and a bottle of beer

Well, had my birthday..weekend started off fairly predictable enough, managed one pint alone before heading home only to discover the overflow still, er, overflowing so I went into the loft to empty the tank, the dripping back into the tank slow enough to give me a weekend free of worry at least, but no, the missus decides to call her dad to promised to come straight round! - I'm like, well, it isn't urgent, and it is Friday evening and we are about to eat dinner and I am knackered and it won't do any good and it'll take ages trying to fix, like, so she says - OK call him, tell him not to bother, so I do and it's a waste of time 'cos he's adamant, he's on his way! - an hour later and a dozen trips up and down into the loft turning on and off the mains outside, my dinner is cold, I'm sweating and hungry and the overflow is, er, even worse than before! - very tempted to say "told you so" but I didn' have the energy

Saturday, drove the missus to a nearly-new sale then took the lad to the park, along with half a dozen other dads, I mooched around the park, following the boy from slide to swing before tempting him to Tesco's to buy and Easter egg for his cousin, who we were about to meet. In Tesco's their policy of packing for those in need of help, i.e. old people, kept me in a 10-items-or-less queue for 15 minutes while this old crone behind the counter helped an even older crone not only check her items thru the swiper thing but also into her trolley!...dog food, presumably for herself, catfood, likewise, for variety innit - shesh! and of course, all the while the older crone DIDN'T GET HER MONEY READY until paying up time - now where did I put my purse, I know I had it when I left the house..hmmm - aaarrrghhhh -

I managed to keep my cool, telling myself that hey! I was in no rush like - I wouldn't mind but they were chatting away to each other like they had all the time in the world, not a care for the other people behind them, me with only one chocolate egg n'all - Tesco really should market their care-in-da-community side of themselves more, mind, not that they need to, it's like a magnet for all of Wares disadvantaged, Old, sick, lame, feeble and disabled - most days it's aisles are like a scene from One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest I tell ya!

Sunday, birthday, up at 5:00am as baby WOULD NOT sleep - sang a hushed "happy birthday to me" and watched Sky News. Fairly dull day, went to a pub in da country for lunch, which advertised itself as a "family pub" with indoor and outdoor play areas for kids! but on inspection we found one slide outside and a one metre by one meter soft play hole by the bogs for the under two's, one at a time please! - Jesus! - and a family of "travellers" near us with a pack of screaming kids, one 11 year old girl done up like a hooker! with thigh length boots and mini skirt - a mirror of her 20 year old mum - get me outya here!! - The rest of the day spent watching Star Trek, snoozing and mopping about the place. - Oh yeah, wot did I get? - one bar of soap (trying to tell me summat?) a bottle of beer (?) and 2 tee shirts that I'd brought myself and handed over for wrapping the week before - sigh.

Thirty Six

At the weekend. Sunday in fact, I'll be 36 years old!...half a lifetime ago I was a virgin in most things, love, work, foreign travel, exotic food and continental lager, now I'm an old hand. Mind you, by 25 I was an old pro, I'd slept with the last women I'd ever sleep with and had danced my last in a nightclub; funny how, in those short years, I'd've done practically everything I'd ever experience

So, what’s it to be then?  --  well, tonight mebbe a pint or two in Flutes wine bar on me todd, quiet reflective time before the weekend partying really begins, sorta calm before the storm! Oh yes, Saturday will see me at a nearly new sale with the missus, looking for cheap baby clothes, followed by an hour in the park, on the swings and slides with the toddler then, as a special treat, a take-a-way of my choice (cheaper than a restaurant) and video/ DVD --  Then, before I can get my breath back, Sunday finds us out for, the dreaded, “country Pub Lunch”, the last desperate bastion of tired middle aged spouses --  with kids --  expect we’ll look for one with a kiddie climbing frame/animal corner --  36 sure feels good!!

mastitis

mail from the missus yesterday, thinks she has mastitis!, told her to call the doctor, go to bed and take some drugs...promised her that I'd stand by her through her illness, be by her bedside night and day, play her favourite music to her 'cos the Doc's are bound to say that mebbe she can hear stuff...just...mebbe like...mop her fevered brow...getting meself into the kinda new-man caring/sharing vibe thing, almost looking forward to seeing how well I'd cope, how I'd stand up to a punishing schedule of looking after 2 kids and a missus in a deep, deep coma...mebbe some nurses might begin to fancy me, my all nighters, at the bedside, turning them into slavering, hero-worshipping, weak-kneed, sex slaves...I'd of course, turn them down like, sorry ladies...but I have a sick wife to take care of and the kids don't need a new mummy...yet...

Imagine my disappointment then, when I decided to look up mastitis on the web, only to find it's a non-fatal breast complaint, common amongst women breast feeding!...send her another mail, told her to tell the "boys" to perk up, daddy was coming home and I'd hand express them both, it's wot I do!....no botha...

hand, mouth or tax relief?

Found out yesterday that we're now not entitled to the tax relief we were hoping for...means of course that we've less time to do a deal that we'd hoped..

Ex-employee came in for a beer this lunchtime, hopeful for a job at my old place, was even interviewed by my old boss! amazingly he's still in with a chance and should find out today the result of his second interview...will post the result here when I know!