Solitary brother...

Every once in a while, life deals you a reality check. Take last night for example, there I was, in the bath, minding my own business pretty much, but noticing small holes, gaps if you will, between the newly applied sealant and the tiled wall behind and thinking, hmmmm the missus should've taken more care here, I must point this out to her at some point, when in she comes. Love, I say, I don't mean to pick holes, but...er...there are gaps in the sealant and if we're not careful, water'll leak through onto the wall and behind the bath...
"Hmmm, that's odd" says she, "I followed the instructions to the letter, I filled th bath full of water to properly weigh it down before I applied the sealant, so how come"...and here she got down to eye level with the seal...."there's now gaps?"...and it was one of those rolling eye moments as she rolled her eyes from the wall to me, and back to the wall....then back to me...and suddenly I knew what she was thinking, I didn't need to be Archimedes to begin to understand her thought process, but yet still she was reluctant to spit it out, so I did the noble thing and said...
"Er...you don't, er, suppose, by any chance that...I'm weighing down the bath even more and therefore pulling the sealant away from the wall...do you?"...and the relief on her face was priceless...."oh, er...hmmmm....mebbe...I...er....lemme just re-applied some...er...while you're still in the bath like..."...and so she did, the water getting colder and colder and she meticulously re-applied the goo. Nuff said, It's enough to know that I am helpful, in my small way, to the DIY jobs around the house.

Eat your dinner, like a good boy

Take yesterday for example, there I was, up at 5:30am, or in reality 4:30am 'cos my body clock was still in British Winter Time...bloody body clock!...doing some overtime for a client, trying to make sure my tapping-tap-tapping on the PC in the bedroom didn't click and clank too much and woke the missus and next door up. The mouse extension table, wobbly, and every time I took my hand off the bastard it would slip off and clatter to the floor, I would curse and retrieve it while the missus stirred. grunt. farted. and turned over.
She cannae complain too much though, as the OT money's buying her a washing machine and hoover, the spoilt cow!

Satisfied I've done enough, covered everything, I go back to bed and worry I've missed summat, so log back onto the internet and try doing some more...Smasher comes in wanting his brekkie, so I abandon "work" and head downstairs. The missus gets up 3 hours later with a banging headache, but takes the lads out to a party in Hatfield, while I grout the tiles in the bathroom, behind the shower head (almost there...). She comes back in a worse state and takes herself to bed. I take over, bathing the boys, cooking dinner, tidying up etc. And all day long I'm fucked, wondering if the clock in the kitchen has been "done" or if the cooker one is still "out"...it didn't help this morning when, totally fucked cos the smasher kept us both awake all night, I look at the car clock...5:00am...Christ! hello summer. my old friend.

Party fears two

I'll have a shower, And then phone my brother up, Within the hour, I'll smash another cup...ahhh the 80's eh?...Those words resonate down thru the years don't they?...hmmm?...no?...oh....well, the smashing things up sure do anyway and let's not mention showers here, too painful still...Promised some pic's of the smashers big day, totally underwhelmed he was by it all of course and the bits of the toys now scattered to the 4 corners of the house. Someone didn't enjoy all the attention not going all his way for once but what ya gonna do? smack him and tell him to stop being so selfish?...then send him to bed without any cake??...well, yes, that's what we did actually, letting us parents truly bond with the baby. Thanks fuck it's all over now, and we can all concentrate on up-and-coming birthday, jeeeez...gonna hit the big three O, I better get summat nice, man-boy play stuff mebbe, or a trip to Palms of Ware perhaps...6th April. cannae wait.

Chicken Pops!

Sleeping badly at the moment mate, kids have chicken pox, or chicken pops! as smasher says!! hahahah...ain't that just adorable?
Party went ok, bit dull, no gossip as such. Baby got lovely loud toys from relatives who think it's bloody hilarious to give, just s'as it annoys me and missus. and it does.
Bought a washing machine and cylinder hoover at the w/e £500 gone from my overtime money already...sigh....still, worth it judging by the amount of crap it picked up from our floors when the missus made light work of the cleaning..
As weekends goes, I'd rank it somewhere mid-table...polished off 3 bottles of red along the way too, and that ain't good.

Happy birthday son

So, blimey! that was a quick year wasn't it? Seems like only yesterday eh?...All that pain, the screaming, crying, depression, jeeez...and I bet the missus wasn't having a very nice time either!

One year ago, he was born.

"War" broke out in Iraq. I was having an, well, I was going to say an interesting email conversation with me mate yesterday, but I'll just say...an email conversation instead, about risk, cause and effect, probability and impact and how, because I was on the M25 the other day, first time in ages mind, I somehow caused, or at least was part of the cause of that huge crash that occurred that day that turned the M25 into a huge car park. The ripple effect, the tree falling in a forest argument and all that jazz....and it got me thinking about my wee smasher see, he was born the day war broke out, if he hadn't of been born, would war have broken out?...Who knows, probably, and I won't hold it against him of course, I won't blame him, no, but I expect they'll be times in his life, he'll catch me looking at him and wondering....What if....
Tonight, I'm afraid for the lad, as his relatives will descend on him, bearing gifts. We'll all oooohhh and arhhhh as his tires to smear some snot on my sofa, or when he shits his pants, we'll all smile, hold his arse up to our noises and inhale to confirm the packet has been filled and for once, I'll volunteer to change him, anything to escape the relatives.
Pictures to follow.

Sleepless in Hertfordshire

I must remind myself that however bad the baby crying gets at night, storming off downstairs, cursing wildly, to rough it on some cushions and wafer thin blanket, isn't the better option. Sure, the baby screams are more tolerable and yes, wind trouble in the bottom department poses no problems when it comes to letting it all hang out, hey! I'm a new age guy, I respect other peoples space and am concerned as the next fellah about offending with any windy pops, or pop off's as we like to say around the kids, but fuck...it was cold and bloody uncomfortable last night; so much so in fact that by 4:30 I abandoned my floor and crept back upstairs, tail betwixt my legs, and into the marital bed...one hour later, of course, and I'm stumbling back down the stairs, off to work, tripping over strewn cushions and tangled blanket, almost nutting myself on the corner of the fireplace. The thing is, and I think this is the clincher for me, when we spoke of having a third smasher last week, I'll remind myself of last night and say, no love...never again, it ain't worth it...it just ain't worth the aggro, you know?

Minder

Minder

It comes to something, doesn't it, when you're surfing the digibox Sunday night and the only thing remotely worth watching is Minder - Looking for Micky on Paramount......still, 20 years on, look watched changed and stayed the same...Arthur had to video someone to prove something....to someone...er...anyway, he had to, get this...hire the video equipment, and my god what equipment, tripod, huge camera, lighting!....sheeesh...worth watching to for a look at the young Bill Nighy
Any-hoo...I'm not dead, been busy/tired innit..seems there's no time to say owt, but more worryingly, there's so little to say...Could mention my 6th anniversay a couple of weeks back, but it was fairly uneventful...might work myself up to saying summat about me younger smashers first birthday this weekend...a whole year eh?...pictures to follow....possibly.