Target their weapons array

Yesterday, I found out a way of finding out what domains link to what sites, via yahoo, i.e. linkdomain:yahoo.com finds every site that links to Yahoo.com, well, being the information professional I am, I decided to see who links to my work, and would you believe it, I do! Apoptygma!!...so, I'm thinking, if I can do it, so can anyone right? and before you know it, I'll be exposed!...so I got the jitters and decided to do some editing, does anyoneone know how to hide the archive though?...am I being paranoid?. who cares right...hmmm...

In the gym today, not had a day rest from it since I sighed up, bike, weights and swim..forgot me fucking towel, left it in car, out of pool, into shower, fuck! i really am wet here...jeeeesus...nakid, paddling back to locker, some cunt right in front of me locker, me dripping, nakid, er...'cus me mate er...he turn round to see me in all me glory!...looks me up and down like, lingers on crotch area, squints up his fookn' eyes like a cunt, smirking he steps aside...sooo embarrassing..I slide passed, get me mankey gym tee-shirt and begin wiping myself down with it, not nice...not nice at all.

Ah, well, it's holiday time now anyway, off for a long weekend in Kent, Whitstable here we come! camping just as the weather turns nasty, typical! Mind you, nearly got the weather right, way back in winter, some amateur fucker said end of May would be nice, but generally we're gonna have a shit summer, so, I book some camping...I book?...I mean the missus booked a site and we fucked it right up, still, for the kids really innit, they don't seem to care if it's pissing down or boiling hot. Stand by.

In the Drunk Tank

It’s been a few weeks since the last update, so in true Apoptygma style, I’ll limp lamely to the end of the year and do a final update. As no one else reads this anymore, it’s really just a reminder for me, what have I been up to lately then…lemme see…(it’s all going misty, wobbly picture’s forming…sounds coming through..)

Work: I started the blog with the news that our Commercial director was taking over the reigns of our old company, becoming MD, to initiate some hard & tough decisions to help get us back on track etc, entry since deleted for some reason. Well, it’s been a tough year all right, culminating in our takeover a few weeks back. Since then the old MD has decided **** isn’t for him, and that he won’t be pursuing a career here after all; when his 3-month contract runs out in January 2004, he’s off!! Also, the only other “employee” we used to have, along with myself, has also decided not to stay and has booked himself a round-the-world trip of a lifetime. This leaves three of us left here, 2 old directors whose contracts also run out next month but who will be looking to stay on, and me. A sorry end really…or is it the end….hmmm….well, of course it isn’t, for the two that are leaving it’s the beginning, new opportunities and new experiences await them and a little, if not a lot of me, is dead envious. Who knows what’ll happen here next year, has some big plans but do they include me and do my plans include them?


Personal: My last entry was looking forward to some massive xmas M*** drinking but it hasn’t really worked out as I’d planned. Sure I met Dave that night, and yes, I got drunk, but it was in a sorta half arsed way, not a pretty way and I’ve defo had better nights out. This cold I’ve had, along with everyone else, has really put a dampener on my plans, one night out, the Industry’s xmas free piss-up I chickened out of, mid-week nonsense I’d usually throw myself into with abandon, this year I could take or leave, so I left. Last week, last hurrah for the old company, a meal and drink in the City, I decided to drive to avoid the twin nightmares of a late night and hangover next day….dull middle-aged wanker that I am.

One thing though was my trip to Amsterdam a couple of weeks ago, just the weekend, and despite my cold I managed to have a nice time. It pissed down the whole time we were there, so to get out of the rain went to the Deco Sauna. Anyone who doesn’t know of this place needs to get themselves there next time they is in The Dam. It’s completely legit of course, totally a European experience of naked people enjoying the warmth of a sauna, the steam and relaxation. My god, the women there!…at one point, there I was, in the steam room when 3 naked English girls giggled in, sat opposite me, and began talking about back packing, house prices…the usual crap, but it these lovely posh accents and there I was, pretending to be a Dutchman, not listening…until this real Dutchman, some old git asked them to keep quiet!…too right mate, but nooooooo chastised, they get up and leave me and this winkled old wanker alone…bastard, but I left soon after and met up with them later in the sauna…lovely!…the usual strip joints and bars followed, spending too much pursuing our denigration into vice and porn, but there you go….just like everyone else there eh?…

So, what’s next?…well, tomorrow is xmas eve, half day and another drinking sesh cried off, train into the City for afternoon beers sounds nice but for some reason the missus wants me to help she this year putting up the stockings, laying out the pressies, hanging up stuff for Santa etc rather than have me pissed on the sofa nursing a sherry, cursing the crap TV and stuffing my face with mince pies. Xmas day, you know about, so I won’t go into here, hopefully it’ll be a short experience and it’ll be all over in under 5-6 hours…ahahahahhhhaaaa!! 5-6 hours!! Who am I kidding…sigh…and the New year?…hmmm…2004…I wonder

Anyone mind if I go to the toilet?....thankyou...

Oh god, eldest smasher came down the stairs yesterday evening, ready for bed, I'm doing his milk...he say, oh daddy....i'm really sorry, but i think i've pooed. sure enough, a big lump dropped outya the bottom of his gym-jam bottoms for fucksake. Then another lump. i say, KAAAAAAATE!!!!...come see wot your son has just done. jeeeeeesus, stepped ona lump 5 mins later, wee bit, under foot, squelch. fucksake.
Good night out Friday, 19 people showed up, i think, cannae remember last hour or so to be honest, too many there to chat to everyone. Managed somehow to get on train home, but failed to get off other end correctly, so had to fork out a cab home, shared with other drunks who fell asleep and missed their stop. OK weekend, got sun burnt, bought sleeping bag for next weeks camping trip to Whitstable....

'Es like a liddle lamb!

Working from home again today, late meeting last night discussing a client’s wish list, can we do it? Shall we throw in the towel…decided we’re gonna give it our best shot, see what happens like. Bit awkward this working from home today, as I’m off out tonight, meeting the boys in town, so when I finish here I gotta get a train into London…ah well, at least it’ll mean the car stays here and I dunt have to worry about picking the thing up over the weekend. Got paid today also, all my overtime and bonus swallowed up my overdraft and credit card! Doh! Thing is, I cannae see where all my money’s gone to! A bit here, a bit there…all me dough gone before I get a chance to spend it…ah well, the missus is happy cos we’re now clear if debt….for now.
Not a lot of news, still deciding if I wanna change blog template or stick to this one, still going to gym once a day, although you wouldnae believe it if you saw me naked…or fully clothed for that matter, expect it’s doing me some good somewhere though, defo feel the muscle on me forearm firming up, so that’ll impress the ladies no end, just crock me elbow at ‘em and invite them to cop a feel, they’ll love it, try it tonight. Stand by.
All welcome by the way

Lamb
94 Lamb's Conduit Street
WC1N 3LZ

http://www.fancyapint.com/thepubs/pub77.htm

nearest tube: Russell Square/Holborn

leakage, mebbe I get she some tennaladies

One of the wife’s many bug bears with me is that I cannas help but force sex on her just before we’re going out, or increasingly, when she’s going out and leaving me alone with the kids; I cannae help it, she looks nice, all done up like a dogs dinner, smelling all nice and clean and I get the right horn, what’s a bloke to do?

The thing she really hates though, even more than me bearing down on her for an intolerable two, mebbe three, minutes tops, is the slow leaking of sperm throughout her subsequent evening. Many a time I simply laughed her discomfort off, well, why not, not my problem after all. But now I think I’m beginning to understand what she’s on about…wait, this is beginning to sound like I’m having unprotected gay sex with some strapping buck doesn’t it?…I suppose I’d better come clean and admit that, from time to time, I enjoy a relaxing, or sometimes rushed, Jodrell, it’s in me nature innit, but if it’s a rushed job, and trousers need to be hiked soon after, I too experience the unpleasant feeling to lazy sperm creeping up me tubes thru me jap eye to slowly soaking me grundies, very unpleasant....you think you've got it all, you think it's all squeezed out. but no.
So, next time she’s fighting me off I might pause for a moment or two and think back this moment. Relate I can do. Empathy I can also do.

A Change is as good as a rest

Think I'll change the layout, bored looking at my ugly moosh, dull colours, same old links...same old postings...oh, cannae do much about the last one, but let's see what a fresh new template'll do to Apoptygma...I predict vast improvement!

1963

It was January, 1963, when Johnny came home with a gift for me..He said in Winter 1963 It felt like the world
would freeze...
Ah yes, coupla tunes from the 1980's there mentioning the big freeze of 1963, New Order and The Dream Academy of course. I remember me dear old mum going on about this a lot, musta made some impression on her, and people who were around back then....Certainly looked like Britain making a very good impression of Siberia yesterday on the telly, when Horizon was warning us that the gulf stream was dying and with it the warm weather Western Europe enjoys; all to do with global warming apparently, which'll cause lots of rain, that'll wash into the sea, diluting the salt levels...or summat, they reckon we got anything between 20-100 years before we're all living in Igloos....certainly something to give anyone nightmares eh?
Global warming, christ! I tell ya, last night it took me 3, yes...3-bloody-hours to get home...some fucker had had an accident on the A10 and the police decided to close the whole damn thing between Hoddeson and Ware...nice, so me and the rest of Hertfordshire, crawled along in our overheated, petrol guzzling cars all the way home. I tell ya, some people, going to fast, not using their bloody heads, smashing into god knows what or who...I dunno. Hey!, had my review the other day, they love me of course and to prove it gave me a pay rise and bonus, nice one, should pay for the bloody sofa's and camping holiday eh? Well done me for being great!
Sad news, ex-colleague and friend of a friend sadly passed away the other day after a prolonged coma. He was hit by a car some time ago and has never recovered, just walking across a road, talking on his mobile and BAM!...makes you think how precious life is.

Town Bike

Finally got the bathroom done, it wasn't easy, hassling the missus on and on, but in the end, I'm very pleased with how well I nagged her to get on with it!...Now she's on the kitchen, using up some left-over tiles for the splashbacks and this weekend, we're buying some new flooring, oh! it never ends I tell ya, in my house.
At the weekend I took the smashers up Hertford park to teach the eldest how to ride his bike, I'm sure, thinking back, it was an easy process for me, hill, dad, push and that was it, with Arthur, we were at it all morning, up and down the pavement, or rather the missus was, I was soon out of puff, so stood back and supervise...well worth it though for the swelling I found I had, in my chest, with pride as he slowly, painfully, began to get his balance and ride on his own; I tell ya, if it wasnae for the burly Russian circus guys working on their trucks nearby, I'd've broken down in tears right there in the park I WAS SO CHUFFED..

Kingdom of Leather

I was just looking back at the blog, this time last year i was unemployed, sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring...Today I have my 6 monthly review, the HR person and my "boss" will talk to me about how great I am, or they'd better, swiftly followed by a pay rise I hope...gotta find some money somewhere to help me pay off my monthly gym membership and the two new leather sofa's we bought at the weekend for £2,200!...we somehow set out to take advantage of the bank holiday sales only to find ourselves shafted, like every other punter probably...Sorry Sir/Madam, the sales doesn't cover that piece of furniture, or that particular leather/colour, or not with those sofa legs, sorry, not including insurance, stain protection, leather care products, of which you HAVE to buy to cover the warranty...bla bla....Christ, they grind you down these people. So, yeah, I need money and I need it fast.
Got a txt from one of my-so-called-mates at the weekend telling me his happy news, that he's "officially" engaged, whatever that means, I thought he already was, still, shows how much I knew or cared for that matter, it's not like 'm invited to the wedding or anything is it?....Saves me buying them a pressie I suppose. I txed him back..."Congratulations! I hope you'll be as happy as me and the missus"....and I meant it too.