Cottages make me sneeze

Friday, nice warm day, and I bolted to the boozah when the smasher invited his wee mate from next door over to play. Texting mate from the pub as he was nest building, making the spare room into a nursery…bless…
Saturday, the missus told me she was off to make a window display for the local toy library. I say, ummm have you warned me about this? Yes, she says, I’ve told you about this, you just don’t listen…I say, oh yeah, and what was my response then?…Oh, I can’t remember…uh-huh, so you can remember telling me but neither of us remembers my response, which would’ve been something like the response I’m giving now, like, I’m supposed to look after the kids all morning while you volunteer for yet another thing. Look, I say, anything that impacts on me, that you wanna volunteer for, let me know, get a response from me, write it in the bloody diary….but don’t inform me on the day and then tell me I know all about it because it’s not on!!….sheeesh…so, took the smashers into town that morning, met wife, admired window display. Went home.
Sunday, local Van Hague Easter egg hunt on. She took smasher to it, while I stayed in an babysat small smash. Rained, so I cancelled pub visit. Watched “My house in Umbria”
Monday. Had her brother round for an hour, then we went up to her mums for lunch. We were gonna go to a pub for lunch, but the brother and the mum decided, between themselves mind you, that no, she’d do a home made lunch. Nice, I was looking forward to the pub and sinking pints while he drones on about local produce, owl sanctuaries and ice hockey/speedway which is preferable to sipping one glass of wine at his mums….while he drones on….We told him about our holiday plans, a cottage in Yorkshire…we even showed him the picture from the brochure….no no…he says, no good for him, the wood in the cottage would give him the sneezes…Oh but his wife said, no look! It looks varnished, you might be ok…if it is varnished like…We only stayed till 2:30pm, luckily the missus had to go off to work, so I put one smasher down for his afternoon nap, cracked open a couple cans of special brew and told the other smasher to leave me alone while daddy drank.